That Wasn’t Mike Bloomberg On Stage, That Was You
You’re the one who never smiled.
You gave a public speaking performance as if the words practice and preparation never entered into your vocabulary.
You looked into the camera with disdain. And disinterest.
And may not have known it.
You looked at your live audience — the ones in the room with you — the same way.
You gave that look of condescension.
Your voice filled, with filler words.
Ummm…
Uhhh…
You had trouble answering questions.
More often than not, you didn’t answer the questions.
And while your credibility was dissolving with every passing moment, you gripped that podium with the fervor of an amusement park visitor riding that oh-so-scary roller coaster for the very first time.
Hanging on for dear life. Afraid. And it showed.
You may not have known you were doing these things.
But I don’t care. Neither does your audience.
You claim you didn’t want to do any of those things.
Any of those ‘bad’ things you did on stage.
I still don’t care, and neither does your audience.
You may say you were rusty. Out of practice.
No doubt.
Still, don’t care.
None of that matters.
In other words, tough.
You’re a professional.
Your audience deserves your best, always.
Mike Bloomberg Actually Did Better Than You
There’s something you haven’t read this week.
You haven’t heard or seen it on TV, either.
But it’s true.
Mike Bloomberg did better on-stage, during that last Democratic Debate Wednesday night, than you did in your last public speaking appearance.
And Bloomberg was awful. Terrible. He was carved up by Elizabeth Warren, the other candidates, and the NBC moderators.
It was over for him in 60 seconds. He never got off the canvas.
Still, he was better than you.
How do I know?
Because I was there.
I was in the audience when you read your PowerPoint slides at that trade show in Las Vegas.
When you used filler language to stumble through your presentation.
When you slumped in your chair in that panel discussion.
I’ve watched your cookie-cutter corporate video.
You know, the one with the person sitting on a stool, offset-right on the screen, as B-roll of a scenic corporate campus or a downtown metropolitan landscape is overlaid on your client’s monotone voice.
I’ve seen your group, web-delivered, PowerPoint presentation.
Mashed with six video boxes.
Uncoordinated video boxes.
150 slides worth, in 60 minutes.
I’ve tried listening to your podcast.
The one where you actually believe that anybody can buy a microphone, download free software, set up in a back office with four concrete walls, and provide audio content that will not only attract and hold an audience, but generate sales opportunities, build your brand, and publish on a regular basis.
So the audience knows when to expect the next episode. And the next. And the next. No matter what. And I mean — no matter what.
You may wish you had Mike Bloomberg hosting your podcast.
But I don’t.
Not after last Wednesday night.
Maybe he could bankroll it, but not host it.
Even though he’d be an upgrade over who and what you have now.
So Please Tell Me More About Marketing MQLs
MQLs stands for Marketing Qualified Leads.
As if anybody would give a damn about sales or marketing or business jargon after your last speaking performance.
Because after your last performance, you don’t have to worry about any MQLs.
Because you won’t have any leads.
And even if you generated leads from someplace else, after your audience got a whiff of your last stage performance, those leads can be thrown in the trash.
The same goes for telling me how digital-only now powers marketing.
Or how social is the thing.
Or mobile.
Please tell me more about how inside sales should be doing this, and not that.
When inside sales can’t deliver a pitch on the phone, or a webcam.
Tell me more about why external business developers should use your SaaS-delivered sales enablement software to be more efficient and effective every 90 days, when they can’t carry a story, or a value prop, a tune, or a pitch of their own.
You’re enabling nothing.
Please show me the marketing maze of metrics, and KPIs, and dashboards, and workflows, and everything else… in the moments when you, your colleagues, your executives, and your partners tank, on-stage, on-camera, on a microphone, on a webinar, on a conference call, in a media interview, on a live video stream, on a podcast, in front of investors, the competition, analysts… and the general public.
Like Mike Bloomberg.
And act like nothing bad has happened.
Like you, and your CEO, CMO, Sales VP and all others at your company have done.
While I, and so many others, wasted my money and time in the audience.
While your HR person directs you to the generic, two-day public speaking course your company offers in the Fall.
Maybe.
Because it’s not marketing’s responsibility.
Nor is it the responsibility of the sales department.
Human Resources doesn’t know what to do.
Neither does training.
And it sure as hell isn’t your responsibility.
Whatever you do.
Show me why anything and everything in marketing is more important than preparing your people for taking the stage. Any kind of stage.
Show me why having the best content equals success.
Show me why having the best technology does, too.
Show me why having a big sponsorship at an industry event automatically drives sales.
Show me why having a recognizable brand, and a heavy footprint in media, tech, finance, and politics means you don’t have to prepare for taking the stage.
And, I’ll show you a recording of Mike Bloomberg’s performance from last Wednesday.
And then we’ll review yours.
How do I know Bloomberg didn’t adequately prepare?
He wore a watch. Simple as that. Either his debate prep team was inexperienced, or Mr. Bloomberg didn’t care to listen.
But among other things, Bloomberg wore a watch.
“But, Tony, now you’re being ridiculous! Who cares if he wore a watch?!?”
For those who remember, Bush 41 wore a watch in a 1992 town hall presidential debate against Ross Perot and Bill Clinton.
During the debate, President Bush checked his watch.
It gave the wrong impression. Sent the wrong message. It appeared as if he didn’t want to be at the debate. As if he had other things to do. As if the event was unimportant. As if the questions from the town hall audience were wasting his time.
Here’s more perspective on that from CBS.
Almost 30 years later, it’s the one thing I remember from the debate.
And you better believe that if I coached Mr. Bloomberg before that Vegas debate, I’d tell him not to wear a watch. He doesn’t need to know the time of day on stage.
I don’t know if he checked his watch.
I don’t care if he checked his watch.
He wore a watch.
And you don’t do that for a debate.
But that would have been the least of his problems that night. He had so many others with public speaking, presentation, and communication performance.
From a Global CEO…
But I digress. You were telling me how it’s not important to prepare before going on stage. How your money, time, and resources are better spent elsewhere.
So let’s get back to your discussion about MQLs, and about how it’s not marketing’s job to care about public speaking and presentation preparation…
You’re about to do 30 years of damage to your brand in the first 60 seconds on stage, but you gotta love those MQLs…
Tony Compton holds two degrees from Loyola University Chicago: a 1987 B.A. in Communication and a 1995 MBA. He has held a number of marketing and business leadership positions over the past three decades.
